What Parents Need to Know for Family Court
In a recent episode of The Secure Dad Podcast, I had the pleasure of speaking with David Pisarra, founder of Dad's Law School and a seasoned family law attorney about protecting your parental rights. David has spent over 25 years helping fathers secure more parenting time with their children and navigate the often-complex world of family court. His insights are invaluable for anyone facing a custody dispute or contemplating a divorce. Here are some highlights from our conversation.
The Reality of Family Court
David started by explaining the harsh realities that fathers often face when they step into family court. Many dads come in with the expectation that simply being a good father will automatically grant them equal custody.
However, the system is more complex than that. David likens the experience to playing 3D chess rather than football, emphasizing the need for preparation and understanding of the court's perspective.
Preparation is Key
One of the most crucial pieces of advice David offers is the importance of preparation. He advises fathers to keep a detailed calendar of their parenting time, including receipts and pictures to substantiate their involvement in their children’s lives. He calls this "dad's diary" and emphasizes that documentation can significantly strengthen a father's case in court.
Equal Rights in Theory, Not Always in Practice
While David asserts that most courts are legally gender-neutral, he acknowledges that practice can be different. Judges bring their own biases, and often mothers come to court more prepared with stacks of evidence. Fathers need to match this level of preparation to ensure they're equally heard.
Domestic Violence
David also sheds light on the sensitive topic of domestic violence, stressing that abuse can happen to both genders. He highlights the importance of filing for domestic violence restraining orders in genuine cases, despite the stigma men might face. He also discusses the expanded definition of domestic abuse, which now includes emotional and financial abuse.
Managing Expectations
Another critical aspect David touches upon is managing expectations. He recounts instances where fathers have unrealistic expectations about custody arrangements and emphasizes the need for realistic and practical planning. Moving closer to the child's school is one such adjustment he suggests for fathers aiming for 50% custody.
False Accusations
Defending against false accusations is one of the most challenging aspects of family court. David stresses the importance of providing context and surrounding evidence to refute claims. He gives an example where if a mother claims abuse but leaves the children with the father willingly, it raises questions about her credibility.
Parenting Skills
David strongly advocates for taking parenting classes, even for those who consider themselves great parents. A parenting class certificate can demonstrate to the judge that a father is proactive and committed to responsible parenting.
Watch the Interview with David Pisarra
Advice for Happily Married Couples
Finally, David offers invaluable advice for couples in good relationships. He emphasizes the importance of nurturing the couple's relationship, not just focusing on the children. Regularly reconnecting and spending time together can help prevent the relationship from deteriorating under the stresses of daily life.
Conclusion: Protecting Your Parental Rights
David Pisarra’s insights are a treasure trove for anyone navigating the labyrinthine family court system. Preparation, realistic expectations, and a focus on nurturing relationships are key takeaways from our conversation. For more information, you can visit Dad's Law School.
